


Let it Be Me

by krazikrys



Category: Backstreet Boys
Genre: Multi, Polyamorous Character, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-07-10 01:10:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19897402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krazikrys/pseuds/krazikrys
Summary: After Brian's divorce, he met and fell in love. The relationship was "different." People didn't understand. Now after months of the media making things up, Brian and his girlfriend, Bec, and her partner, Alyx, are talking about their relationship to hopefully do some damage control and help people understand. Bec is just trying to take the heat away from Brian.





	1. The Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> Don't know them. Never met them. So this is OBVIOUSLY fiction...

## Chapter One  


#### The Meeting

Brian and I stood outside the building. I knew it was his management firm. I’d been there before with him. But usually it was because of something he had to sign, so it was a quick in and out thing on the way to something else. But I knew this wasn’t going to be a quick in and out thing. Brian had come home the other night saying he had gotten an email stating the management wanted both of us there. I knew then that it was something serious. That had been two days ago. Now it was Thursday and here we were. I looked up at the building as he took my hand. “Anxious?” he asked casually as we walked through the front doors.

I shook my head. “No,” I lied. My anxiety was on a level I hadn’t felt in a while. He knew it. I knew it. I was just doing everything I could to keep it controlled. As we climbed in an elevator, he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and kissed my temple. I smiled. He did this in every elevator we took. I looked over at him. “You know it’s gotten out of hand.”

He nodded as the doors opened. We walked down a short hall and he stopped before a conference room. He turned to look at me. Running his hand on the back of my head, he leaned down and kissed me gently. “I love you, you know that, right?”

I smiled at him. “Of course. I love you too.” I sighed.

He held my hand as he led me into the room. “They just want to talk, that’s all,” he said. I rolled my eyes and followed him.

“How can they want to talk about something they know nothing about?”

He held open the door for me and I walked into a room full of people with papers spread on the large table before me. I glanced at the table and saw headlines and photos jump out at me. One side of the table was already occupied by Brian’s bandmates. I turned and glanced at Brian. They had called a whole group meeting. This was not going to be good. The other side of the table were people in suits. My stomach dropped. How was I going to make this understood by those who had no clue?

The man at the end of the table looked at me over his glasses. “Hey Brian, Bec, glad you could make it.” I stared at him. “Look, we need to talk about this.” He spread his arms to indicate the table full of articles. 

I blinked, and Brian squeezed my hand. He tried to lead me to a chair, but I continued to stand. “What about it?” I asked.

“Have you read them?” the man asked me. 

“I have,” I answered. “I’ve read all of them. They don’t know what they’re talking about.”

“What do you mean?” one of the women to my right asked.

I sighed and glanced over at Brian. He leaned over and whispered in my ear, “Sit down, Babe, it’s gonna be a while.” I sighed again and lowered myself onto the edge of the chair nearest me. I wasn’t going to let anyone in this room think I was comfortable with the conversation.

Glancing up at the suits on one side, I said to them, “They don’t know what they are talking about. I’m not cheating on Brian.”

“Then what are you doing?” Kevin asked from the other side of the table.

I stared at him before looking at Brian again. “We haven’t told them yet, have we?” I whispered. He just shook his head. Looking at each of the four men on my left, each dressed casually, but looking like this was important, I said, “Guys if you’re available after this, meet us at the apartment. We’ll talk more okay?” They all nodded. I then turned my attention back to the men and women across from them. My anxiety was extremely high and I knew, unfortunately, it wasn’t going to come out well for the suits. “Look, I know why we’re here and it has absolutely nothing to really do with me. It has everything to do with Brian and the guys and their reputations.” Brian stared at me. I could see the anger blazing in his eyes. I took a breath and grabbed his hand. “Later,” I whispered. He nodded, still staring at me.

I again looked at the people in the suits staring me down. I knew they were fuming that I had figured out their _real_ reason for bringing Brian and me down there. “Look,” I told them, “I know this looks bad. I know you’ve asked Brian to explain it and he’s tried, but really, it has to do with me. So whatever it is that you’re thinking I need to do tell me.”

The man at the end of the table stood up. It was only then that I realized how tall he was. He had dark sweeping hair and was wearing wire-rimmed glasses. In his hand, he held a file folder. He slowly walked behind his cronies before stopping at the end of the table. “We’ve been talking with several outlets about allowing you to tell your side of the story.” 

I rolled my eyes. “Tell my side or say what needs to be said to fix this?” I growled.

He smiled at me. It told me I was right in my thinking but he would never say it out loud. Opening the folder he pulled out several sheets of paper and laid each one out at the end of the table. Slowly, I stood up and stepped up to where he had set out the five pieces of paper. “These are the offers for exclusivity. We have others waiting. You two are likely going to be very busy with press after this.”

I felt Brian come up behind me and begin to read over my shoulder as I read each piece of paper. It had a show title, an interviewer, and a description. Two were morning news shows, one was a talk show, and two more were entertainment news shows. I looked up at him for a moment as he placed his hand on one paper and I placed mine on another. We had a silent conversation with our eyes. There was a moment where I thought he was gonna overrule me, but when he actually read the title of the show I had my hand on, he picked his hand up and let me slide it towards me. “This one,” I said.

The man to my right, still holding the now empty file folder, raised an eyebrow. “ _Ellen_?” he asked.

I nodded. “She’d be most likely to understand.” I turned away from the table and looked up at Brian. “And most accepting,” I mumbled. I knew he heard me, but no one else did. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to his chest, knowing I was about ready to lose it. Taking a breath, I turned back around. “Just get me in touch with her producers. There’s some groundwork that needs to be laid first.” The man nodded and collected the papers there at the end of the table.

The meeting slowly broke up. Brian looked at his bandmates and told them to meet us at the apartment in an hour and we’d explain. I just stood there staring at nothing as people around me slowly left. When the room was clear, Brian walked around in front of me and gently grabbed my face in his hands. He tilted my head up to look at him. “Hey,” he whispered. I blinked at him. “Are you ready for this?”

I slowly shook my head as he engulfed me in a hug.

“Come on,” he said, pulling away. “We need to talk before we meet the guys.” 

I don’t remember him leading me back out of the building or to the car. Once I was strapped in and we started driving, I stared out the window for a bit. Slowly, I started to realize the things around me. It was then that my anxiety finally took full hold. “What the hell are they trying to pull?” I yelled.

“What do you mean?” Brian answered in a calm voice. He knew this was anxiety more than anything.

“I mean, seriously. It had nothing to do with me. It was about you and the guys.”

Brian sighed. “How so?”

“Don’t you see it?” I yelled. “They’re worried about how you look out there.” I gestured with my hand. “I mean, I know you’re super careful with your social media. And I get that. And we are as careful as we can be out in public, but still.”

“But I can’t fix this,” he stated. His calm was surprising to me. But I knew it was difficult for him at the same time. He wanted to rage with me, at me, but he had learned that my anxiety sometimes came out as anger.

I bowed my head and ran the fingers of my left hand over my closed eyes. “I know,” I said softly. “I know you’ve tried, but it’s so hard to explain our relationship to people.”

“That’s why we haven’t.” He paused as he parked the car in front of our apartment. “What are we going to tell the guys?” he asked, as he turned the car off.

I shrugged. “The truth.”

As we both got out of the car, Brian came around and pulled me into an embrace. “Are you okay now?” he whispered.

“Yeah, I think so,” I replied. I just wanted to curl up in bed and sleep but we had company coming over.

Draping an arm over my shoulder, he led me up the stairs and inside our apartment. “I was so worried you were going to blow up at someone in there.”

“Me too,” I told him as we sat down on the couch together.

“So are you really gonna go on Ellen’s show?” he asked me.

I shook my head, “No, we are. You know she’s gonna wanna talk to all of us.” I laid my head on his shoulder. We sat there in silence for a while. I thought about what to tell the guys. They needed to know.

After what felt like an eternity, there was a knock on the door. Brian slid out from under my head and went to answer the door. I heard his bandmates on the other side. They exchanged pleasantries, hugs, high fives and came inside.

Blonde haired Nick sat down next to me, while Howie sat in the recliner and Kevin and AJ grabbed the two kitchen table chairs and pulled them into the living room with us. Brian went back to sitting next to me and pulled me close to him.

“So what was the deal with this meeting?” Kevin asked.

Brian looked at everyone before stopping at his cousin. “I know you guys have seen the news reports over the past few months.”

“Who hasn’t?” AJ scoffed.

“So what’s the real story?” Howie asked.

I glanced up at Brian. “It’s not what the media says,” he told them.

“Brian and I are together and that’s that,” I stated.

“But what about the other girl?” Nick asked. He leaned forward to look at us.

I raised an eyebrow. “That’s Alyx. They’ve been my partner for two years now.”

“So you’re cheating on him?” Kevin asked, almost accusatory.

Shaking my head, I replied, “No.”

Brian also shook his head. “No, she’s not cheating on me.”

We both sighed. “Look, guys,” I started, “it’s not what you think. It’s not about sex. Brian is the only person I’m sleeping with.”

“But our relationship is a little different,” Brian added. “See, I give her certain freedoms while I’m away. I mean, you guys know how it is. When I’m away, and she needs someone to be there. So she has Alyx.”

“But it’s not sexual,” I told them. “Alyx is a romantic partner, not a sexual one. They have been for years now.”

AJ leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees. “But you’ve been seen coming out of her apartment in the morning…”

I cringed at the female pronoun. I’d correct them at a later time. It wasn’t the time to argue identity. I nodded in agreement with his statement. “I know. And nothing has happened. I can’t help it if people usually fill in the blanks with sex. But trust me, I’m just sleeping there.”

AJ continued to press me. “The hand-holding, the hugging… the kissing…”

Closing my eyes, I took a minute. “Hey, you guys are all handsy and stuff. Not much difference there.”

Nick and Howie tried to stifle laughs but didn’t succeed. “She’s right on that, Age,” Nick said.

“So that’s why management called everyone in today? To figure out your relationship?” Howie asked.

I shook my head. “No. They don’t care about our relationship. They care about your guys’ reputation. That’s why we’re gonna go on _Ellen_. Maybe by telling people about our relationship, the media will stop making things up and quit ruining Brian’s rep in the process.”

“You don’t think it’s damaged beyond repair, do you?” Nick inquired.

Brian grinned and shook his head. “If the surprise divorce didn’t do it, this isn’t going to. Believe me, there’s a lot more that’s gonna be thrown around. You guys know I don’t bite those worms. We’re gonna handle this the same way we handled the divorce, with grace and honesty. We just need you guys to back us up in this. Yes, it’s a different relationship than most people are used to, but we’re happy. That’s all that should matter.”

The four guys around us nodded. “That’s all we want to see, Cuz,” Kevin replied. “No one saw you right after the papers were served but us. I don’t think any of us wants to go through that again.”

The men around the room nodded. I wasn’t entirely sure what had gone on after the papers were served on Brian. No one really was. His socials had gone dark for six months. The group was completely in hiding. Once things were signed and filed and it hit the press, he was back. It was all over the media and even myself, who didn’t really follow the group or anything knew about it. Yet, he handled it so gracefully and tactfully. I knew that was what management was hoping for this time.

I stood up with Brian, hoping to get the point across that it was time for everyone to leave. Thankfully everyone stood up as well. “If you guys have any questions about our relationship, don’t hesitate to ask, okay?” I said. “I hope you at least have a basic understanding. You can call or text me about it at any time and I’ll try to help you understand.”

They all nodded and Brian showed them to the door. As Brian closed the door behind them, I sank back down on the couch and laid down. Brian came over and sat on the floor, stroking my face. “I’m proud of you,” he whispered.

“For what?”

“For keeping your cool around the suits. And for being brave enough to go on the Ellen show.”

I closed my eyes. “It’s not like I have much choice in the matter.”

Brian grabbed my hand and pulled me into a sitting position. “Come on, the bed’s better. And yes you do. You could’ve told them to fuck off and not do it.”

“And what would you’ve done?”

He pulled me to my feet and answered, “Talked you into something when you were less stressed and anxious. I’ve figured out how to do that, they haven’t. And we both knew this was going to happen at some point.”

“I know,” I replied, falling on top of our queen bed. It was only eleven in the morning and I felt exhausted.

Brian climbed up next to me. Wrapping an arm around me, he said in my ear, “I know this isn’t how you expected to spend your vacation with me, but we’ll make it work.” I smiled as he kissed my neck and I dozed off for a bit of a nap after the events of the morning.


	2. Managing Relationships

## Chapter Two  


#### Managing Relationships

Two days later, I came out of the bathroom in our apartment to Brian sitting on the couch with his phone in front of him. “What’s up?” I asked, sitting down beside him.

He glanced over at me. “One, you know you make everyone else in the group jealous about your haircut.”

I smiled. “Yeah, because I can pull off short and spikey all the time and they can’t. What brought that up?”

“Nick. He’s complaining again.”

“Tell him to blow everyone’s mind and grow it out.”

Brian laughed. “And two, you were seen the other day out with Alyx.” I watched as he thumbed at his phone screen before glancing at me.

“And your point?”

He turned his phone so I could see a picture. It was me holding hands with my partner, Alyx. The line underneath the photo said, “Brian’s girl stepping out on him?” Alyx was born female and also had the short cut going on, but they were blonde. They were slightly taller than I was. I leaned my head on Brian’s shoulder. “And this is why we are going on _Ellen_. Anything else new?”

He smiled and looked back at his phone. “ _Star_ is kinda fun today. They say you’re trans.” He turned his phone back to me. We always got a laugh out of some of the crazy tabloid stories. It was a picture of me in one of my more androgynous outfits. I could see where they could say I was contemplating a sex change, but there were some days I just wanted to be comfortable.

I laughed and placed my hand on his thigh. “You of all people know that’s not true.”

He leaned over and kissed me. “Not the last time I checked.” He smiled at me again. “So you heard back from _Ellen_?”

“Yeah, I heard from the producer yesterday afternoon. Ellen is all for it. We are set for Monday at nine.”

“And she’s fine with you being the one to break the news?”

I nodded. “Yeah. She gets that it’s about me and not you and so she’s fine with it. And of course, they want both of you with me.”

“So, have you told Alyx yet?”

I sighed. “Not yet. I’ll text later.”

“I’m so proud of you for doing this,” he said to me.

“Why?” I asked.

“You’re coming out to everyone.”

I shook my head. “I’ve never been closeted about this. It’s everyone else. They just don’t understand. Everyone thinks it’s about sex and it’s not.”

He kissed my head. “But you don’t have to do this.”

“Yes, I do,” I said leaning on him. “Management is obviously wanting this. And you told me yourself you would’ve talked me into it anyway.”

Brian sighed. “Yeah, they kinda would’ve forced me to. You know we’ve got to do something to stop the rumor mill. It’s going crazy.” I nodded. “And you know the tabloids will get bad afterward too.”

He had shown me what had happened after the papers were signed and it hit the press. I was surprised at how well he took it all. He never said a bad word one about any of the press, the reporters, the paparazzi. In fact, that was why we kept our relationship quiet for the first few months; he didn’t want the press to hound him about being in a new relationship. Not to mention we had to work out everything with Alyx as well.

And even after he had finally decided we should be seen together, which was a huge discussion beforehand anyway, I had to be on my best super-secret-agent-like behavior in regards to Alyx. It was a good thing I work for a streaming network. I had access to all kinds of props and costumes to sneak around without anyone knowing it was me.

Brian blew on my neck to bring me back to reality for a moment. “Babe, I need you to understand something.” I turned to look at him. “I know management is going to feed you a bunch of lines but speak from your heart, okay?”

I smiled at him and crawled into his lap. “Are they inundating you with emails already?”

He nodded. “Pretty much from Thursday night on. They’ve got talking points, topics to avoid, how to avoid them, so many things.” He pulled his email up and read me the list they didn’t want me to mention. “So, they don’t want you to mention anything about how you identify, which is like crazy.”

I laughed. “That’s pretty much gonna be Ellen’s first question.”

“I know. They also want you to avoid mentioning how we met.” He leaned over and kissed my ear. “Which we know is gonna come up because Alyx loves that story. And also off the table is why you spend time with Alyx.”

I scoffed at him and grabbed his phone. “Okay, it’s a good thing they don’t have my email. I already would’ve canceled on them.” I slid his phone on the table behind me and turned around so I was facing him. I placed my hands on his shoulders and looked him square in the eye. “You know me. You know that I’m going to use whatever platform I’m given to talk about both my community and my illness. It’s who I am.”

He kissed me and replied, “I know. It’s why management has tried to keep you quiet for the past six months.”

“And that’s why I’m glad you are a social media king. You’re not afraid of being honest.”

“Are you talking about Thursday night’s post? About staying in instead of going to the premiere?”

I nodded. The same day I was agreeing to do a television interview, we were supposed to go to a movie premiere with AJ. But by two that afternoon, my anxiety was cycling again and I couldn’t get out of bed. Brian made the best of it by making popcorn, dimming the lights and putting on Netflix. We took a selfie and he posted it to his social media saying that mental illness also affected those around the person living with it. He was pressuring me to get my own Instagram account, but I hadn’t done it yet. He said I could use it as my platform, but I wasn’t sure yet. Maybe after all this press that was gonna happen.

I carefully climbed off Brian’s lap and stood up. Walking over to the kitchen counter, I grabbed my phone and said, “I’m gonna text Alyx. Do we have any plans tonight?”

Brian grinned as he got up to follow me. “Is that before or after I strip you naked?” he said, wrapping his arms around me.

I rolled my eyes and said, “I would hope before because I was planning on inviting Alyx to dinner. We kinda have a lot to talk about.”

He laughed as he kissed my neck. “Did you want to go out or stay in?”

I glanced down at my phone and opened my text messages. “Let’s stay in. There’s too much to talk about.”

He kept kissing my neck as I typed out a quick text to Alyx, asking if they were free. “Italian or Chinese?”

“Italian. Then you and Alyx can open that bottle of wine you’ve been wanting to.”

Brian kissed up to my ear as I sent Alyx another text asking their order for dinner. “I’ve got a bottle of sparkling cider in there so you don’t feel left out.”

“You’re too sweet,” I said, looking down at my phone to see if Alyx had replied. I felt Brian’s hands travel down my arms to my hands and stop on my phone. His mouth was still on my ear, gently tugging my earlobe as he pushed my phone down onto the counter.

Brian’s hands went to my hips as he spun me around and planted his lips to mine. “We’re gonna go with ‘after’,” he said, prying my lips apart with his tongue. I melted into his embrace, not even realizing we were still in the kitchen. I heard my phone ping on the counter behind me as Brian’s hands slid beneath my shirt and he began to pull it over my head. “Ignore it,” he said, as he broke the kiss to remove my shirt from my body. 

We continued to strip each other as he led me to the living room and laid me down on the couch. “Are we really…” I started to ask as he gently climbed on top of me.

He leaned down and kissed my neck before answering, “If I wasn’t who I was, we would’ve done it in more daring places than here.” I groaned as I caught his eye. “With as little as I see you, you’re damn lucky I haven’t had you someplace else. You think the press is bad now.” He kissed over to my lips. “They would have a field day if they caught us.” I giggled as he continued to work me over. We had always kept our sex life strictly in the bedroom, so this was unexplored territory for us. I watched as he grabbed the condom from the coffee table and slid it on before leaning over me and grabbing my hands. I hadn’t seen him pull anything out of his pockets before he had slid his jeans off, but obviously, he had been hoping for this moment. These two weeks were so we could reconnect. He actually had time off. I purposefully took time off.

We were laying on the couch, basking in the afterglow of our lovemaking, his head on my chest, my arms wrapped around him, when there was a knock at our door. He raised his eyes to me as I kissed his hair. “You told me not look at my phone,” I told him. Groaning, he carefully climbed off of me and grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch. I sat up, knowing who was beyond the door but covered myself anyway. 

He snagged his pants off the floor and jumped into them before walking over and opening the door a crack. “Oh, hey Alyx,” he said, confirming my suspicion. “Can you give us just a minute?” I couldn’t hear what Alyx said, but figured they had agreed as Brian turned around, closing the door behind him. He grinned, almost laughing, as I tossed the blanket off of me and stood up, searching for my clothes. “Leave it to Alyx,” he said, picking up his shirt as I got dressed.

“What?” I asked as I slid my shirt over my head.

“We haven’t had sex in like a month, and they show up.” He was annoyed. I could tell by the tone of his voice.

I closed my eyes and took a breath. I really didn’t want to argue with him right then. I walked over to him and placed my hands on his chest. “Don’t worry about it,” I whispered. “We’ll have more time later.” I sighed. It always made me nervous to have both Brian and Alyx together. I didn’t want someone to feel left out or jealous. Though I had learned over the past nine months that jealousy was actually okay to a point. It reminded me who I needed to give my attention to. As part of our agreement, we all had to be open with our communication. If someone was feeling left out or not getting enough attention, they needed to speak up and let me know. This usually wasn’t a problem because Brian was gone so much. With him not being around all the time, I was able to focus on one or the other without any issues. But with Brian home for two weeks, it was going to be difficult to balance my time with my partners. I hoped this dinner was going to not only set somethings for Monday but the remainder of the week that Brian was home.

I walked over and opened the door to let Alyx in. Alyx was the same height as Brian with short blond hair. They had it buzzed short on the left side and the remainder flopped over to the left. Their blue eyes were darker than Brian’s and not as telling, but I could still get lost in them. I gave them a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I saw the fire flash into Brian’s eyes for a moment as we turned into the apartment. I knew his green-eyed monster tended to appear when he saw me get touchy with Alyx. I tried not to be all over them when I was around Brian.

I brought Alyx into the living room and we sat down on the couch. Brian brought over two wine glasses and a glass of cider for me. He handed Alyx their glass and then sat down on the other side of me. “I’ve got some things I need to discuss with you,” I said to Alyx as they took a sip of their wine. I could see Brian was still on edge.

Alyx glanced at me sideways. “What is it?”

I sighed. “You know all the news stories about us, right?” They nodded. “Well, I guess Brian’s management firm is finally tired of it. I got called into a meeting with them the other day.”

“What did you end up telling them?” Alyx inquired.

Closing my eyes, I sat there for a moment before stating, “Monday, I’m scheduled to be on the _Ellen_ show. They want both of you with me.” I took a ragged breath. “And frankly, I’m going to need both of you with me. This isn’t something I can do alone.”

Alyx placed their hand on my knee. “I understand. It will be very overwhelming for you. You know that both Brian and I will be there to support you.” Brian slid his free arm around my back.

“It’s not just that,” I said. “It’s also explaining this relationship to everyone. I don’t know if people would believe me if they didn’t see the three of us together and how happy we are.”

Alyx took a sip of their wine. “So how’d she really do the other day, Brian?”

Brian shrugged. “Better than I expected. She didn’t yell at my management team. She did yell at me, but I was expecting that.”

“She’s our little firecracker,” Alyx said, leaning on me as I rolled my eyes.

“Tell Alyx what I’m not supposed to talk about,” I said.

Brian filled Alyx in as they laughed at each statement. “You also aren’t supposed to show any photos of the three of us together,” he said.

“Um, too late,” I replied.

We continued to talk and drink until our dinner order arrived and once it did, we sat down on the living room floor, food on the coffee table. Brian refilled the glasses and I made sure that both my partners were taken care of and knew that they were loved. It was never easy, but I knew I had to make sure that Alyx was alright with me spending the vast majority of my time over the next week with Brian. Though it looked like at that moment, that we would be spending it doing things we really didn’t want to.


	3. Ellen

## Chapter Three  


#### Ellen

Monday morning, the three of us were sitting in a green room waiting to go on _Ellen_. Brian was on his phone taking video; Alyx was on their phone, thumbing through social media. Meanwhile, I was sitting in a chair staring at a spot on the carpet, unmoving. It wasn’t unusual for my partners to be on their phones. But what was unusual was for them to be ignoring me when I needed them.

I glanced up at Brian. He was just finishing up an Instagram post. Seeing the look on my face he got up and came to sit beside me. “You okay?” he asked.

Glaring at him, I growled, “This is all your fault.”

Brian grabbed my hand. “I know,” he whispered.

“If you weren’t a celebrity…”

Nodding, Brian leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. “I know. And then you wouldn’t have had an excuse.” He squeezed my hand. “You’ve got this, Bec. Just tell Ellen the truth.”

“But I shouldn’t have to,” I grumbled at him.

Pulling me into his chest, he stroked my hair, “I know. I’m so sorry about all this. Keep it short, sweet and to the point.”

“Why do I have to do this again?”

“Because the media is running away with a story that isn’t true.” He kissed my head again. “Besides, Ellen is gonna make it fun, you know that. And in just a few, we’ll be out there with you. Focus on Ellen, not the cameras, not the people.”

Just then, a stagehand appeared. Apparently, it was time. Brian grabbed my cheeks gently and kissed me softly. “You can do this. Smile. Ellen’s super sweet. And she understands.”

I nodded as Alyx came up beside me and squeezed my hand. “He knows better than I do. But we’ll be out there before you know it, okay?” I nodded again and followed this young kid in a collared shirt wearing a headset. I tried to keep myself controlled as I was led to a spot and told to wait. My mind went blank and all I saw was lights. The person beside me told me to walk out and I did, not really paying attention, too stunned by what was happening. It wasn’t my first time on a television set; I dressed them all the time. A quick hug with Ellen and I was seated near her in a white chair. The audience quieted.

“It’s not very often I get to interview the girlfriend of a Backstreet Boy,” Ellen stated.

I smiled. I couldn’t help it. Shrugging, I replied, “First time for everything, I guess.”

“No one knows much about you, so who are you?”

I shrugged again. “Not much to tell really. I work for a streaming network as a props manager.” I glanced down at the two coffee mugs on the table in front of me. “I love your coffee mugs, by the way. I may have to get a couple.”

“Please do!” Ellen said. “So, everyone is dying to know about this relationship. Brian hasn’t said much about it. So, are you cheating on him?”

I shook my head. “No. I’m not. It’s more defined.”

“How so?”

Closing my eyes for a moment, I composed myself. “Brian and Alyx know about each other. And we have an agreement. When Brian’s not around, I’m with Alyx. When he is, I’m with him.”

“And it’s been this way from the beginning?” I nodded. “So you were keeping it a secret for a while.” I nodded again. “How did it get out?”

“Because I hate surprises.” I watched as Ellen made eye contact with her producer Andy and waved her hand at him. I wasn’t entirely sure what she mouthed, but the crowd laughed.

“You hate surprises?” she asked.

I grinned. “Yeah, Brian surprised me one day before he jetted off to wherever he was headed. But after he left, I lost it. See, I live with anxiety and depression. So I spiraled downward after he left and wound up at Alyx’s place. I guess a photographer was following me because the next morning, Brian woke me up with a phone call about a photo.”

“This photo?” she asked, showing a photo of me on Alyx’s doorstep in the rain.

“That would be it.”

“And there’s nothing to it?”

I shook my head. “Nope. Brian knew exactly where I was when he called. We don’t keep secrets from each other.”

“Let’s get him and your partner out here to get their takes on all of this.”

I stood up with Ellen and looked off to my right where both Brian and Alyx were headed my way. I jogged the couple steps between Brian and me and he engulfed me in a hug. Pulling away, he looked down and said softly, “You’re doing great.”

I looked over at Alyx and they grabbed my hand, nodding. I walked between the both of them over to the host, where Brian let go of my hand momentarily to hug Ellen, as did Alyx. We all sat down together, Brian closest to Ellen and Alyx on my right. I held both their hands as Ellen addressed Brian.

“So Brian, this is the first time I’ve had you here without the rest of the guys. How are things?”

Brian smiled, squeezed my hand, and said, “Going well. The guys are off being dads, we’re working on things.”

“Things like…” Ellen prompted.

“Nothing I can talk about yet,” he said. The audience groaned.

“So then can we talk about how you met?”

Brian grinned next to me and leaned back to place his arm around my shoulders. “I think Alyx needs to start that story.”

Alyx leaned forward a bit and said, “Bec and I were out at a bar one night. She kept staring at him from across the room.”

“Wait, you were in a bar?” Ellen asked Brian.

“I can’t exactly be on Tinder now, can I?” Everyone laughed, except me. I just felt Alyx squeeze my hand and I took a breath.

“I told her to go over and say hi, but she gave me the lamest excuse, ever.” Alyx paused and Ellen stared at her. “She told me he was a celeb.”

Ellen stared at her. “How is that an excuse?”

Alyx added, “She deals with celebs all the time.”

Brian picked up the story from there. “So she comes over to me. Says hi. I ask if I can buy her a drink. Only she tells me she doesn’t drink.”

Ellen held up her hands and stared at me this time. “Why were you in a bar?” she asked with a laugh. I shrugged.

“So I took her out for ice cream instead,” Brian said.

“Did you know about Alyx from the beginning?” Ellen followed up with.

Brian nodded. “Pretty much. Within a couple days, I think.”

“He had to,” I added. “This type of relationship doesn’t work if everyone is not on board with it.”

“Are there jealousy issues?”

“No,” Brian and Alyx answered in unison.

“Yes,” I replied. The audience laughed. “They will never admit it. But I notice when they are jealous. It tells me who needs more attention.”

“So we found some photos of the three of you together. Maybe you could explain a few things. Like this.” Ellen showed a photo of the three of us walking. Brian was behind Alyx and me who were holding hands.

I smiled at Alyx. “Yeah, well, Brian was kinda being the third wheel that day,” I said with a smile.

Brian shrugged. “They were talking. It was either something serious or something no man should know about. I don’t remember which.” Thankfully the audience laughed.

“And this one?” Ellen showed a picture of Brian literally pulling both myself and Alyx along.

Brian grinned. “I call that the train. Sometimes, it’s so difficult to get these two moving past certain things.”

“Like?”

Alyx and I looked at each other. “Clothes,” we said in unison.

“Honestly, I think it was a tee-shirt shop. We could have all shopped together, or we did that day,” Brian replied. “I swear, I can just about raid their closets, or she raids mine.”

Then she showed us one photo that we all laughed at. In it, the three of us had stopped and had all turned to look in the same direction. “What about this?”

I laughed. “One of two things: we either all are looking at the same hot girl or we just passed a Starbucks.” Thankfully the audience laughed with me.

Ellen raised an eyebrow. “So do you all have the same taste in women?” Brian and Alyx both looked at me and I smiled mischievously at Ellen. The audience and the host laughed.

The interview went on for a little while longer and eventually, Ellen threw to commercial. She thanked us for being on the show. There were hugs all around. We headed off the stage to get our microphones untangled from our clothes before heading out. Alyx left Brian and I in the parking lot, giving me a hug and telling me I did great. 

Brian grabbed my hand and led me to the car. I went to open the door, but he put his hand on it. I turned around and looked at him. I was trapped between his arms. “Hey,” he said softly, his mouth close to my neck. “I know you are probably gonna crash when we get home.” I nodded. “Don’t do it,” he whispered, his lips on my ear. “I’d take you right now, but I don’t trust this lot.” My breath caught in my throat, as he slowly kissed my neck before letting me go and walking around the front of the car. I opened my door and slid inside. As I was fastening my seatbelt, he also slid in. I glanced at him as he buckled in and then started the car. Once we were out of the lot and on the main street, he grabbed my hand. He brought to his lips and kissed the back of my hand. “I’m so proud of you. You did amazing today.” I sighed and looked at him. I couldn’t find my voice. We rode in silence, him holding my hand the whole way.

When we got home, he let go of my hand hurried out of the car to get my door. I always let him do this. He held my hand, our fingers interlaced, as we walked to our apartment. Once he closed the door behind me though, his sweet Southern gentleman wore off. He planted his lips to mine and pinned me to the door with his body. When he finally stopped kissing me to take a breath, he whispered, “You have no idea how amazing you did today.” I smiled as his lips were on mine again. He broke for air a second time and I glanced at the clock on the wall. It was only around eleven in the morning. Grabbing my hand, he pulled me to the bedroom.

A few hours later, I woke up naked and alone in bed. I climbed out of the sheets and reached into the closet. I found a large tee shirt and slid it on, not caring that I didn’t have anything on underneath. Slowly, I walked out and heard Brian talking. Since I could only hear him, I figured he was on the phone.

“I know you can’t help her with this,” I heard him say and pause. “Believe me, I know. She’s yelled at me more since Thursday than you know.” I wasn’t sure who he was talking to, but I had a feeling. I paused in the hallway to listen just a little longer to confirm my suspicions. “Yes, I will try to schedule anything she has to do when she’s with me. It only makes sense.” I smiled. He was talking to Alyx. When they were both concerned about me, conversations were easy. It hadn’t always been that way between them. I walked out into the kitchen and saw him leaning on the counter on his phone. “Oh, hey, she’s up. I’ll talk to you later, okay?” He hung up a moment later pulled me into a hug. “Hey, Babe.” I stayed there with my head on his chest for a moment. “How are you doing?”

I sighed. “Okay, I guess. What were you and Alyx talking about?”

He kissed the top of my head. “You could tell?” I nodded. “Just how we are going to handle things after this hits the press tomorrow. They seem to think I’m an expert.”

I smiled and stepped back from him. “Well, not an expert, but definitely way more experienced than either of us.”

“I get that.” He looked down at me fully and then caught my eye. He leaned down and kissed me as his fingers slid beneath the hem of my shirt. His eyes widened as he felt bare skin.

I broke the kiss and whispered, “Reconnect, right?”

“Yeah,” he whispered back, tracing circles on my outer thigh. His mouth found mine as both our phones pinged with email on the counter behind us. We chose to ignore it as we lost ourselves in each other.


	4. Typical Night

## Chapter Four  


#### Typical Night

Later that evening, as Brian was preparing dinner, I looked at my phone. There was an email from Brian’s management team. I wasn’t sure how they had gotten my email. I sighed and walked into the kitchen. “Hey, Bri, since when does your management book interviews for me?”

He looked at me. “Uh, never. Why?” I showed him the email. He reached his hand into his back pocket and pulled out his own phone. Scrolling his own emails, he grumbled. “Apparently they booked you with Carson Daly tomorrow morning.”

“How’d they get my email?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” he replied. He turned back around to the stove and stirred the rice. He then pulled up his contacts and dialed his management team. He put it on speaker, so he could continue making dinner. It also helped because then I could hear what was said. Even though it was late, Tom picked up. “Hey, Tom, it’s Brian. I have a question. Why are you booking Bec with Carson tomorrow morning? I thought it was agreed that _Ellen_ got the exclusive?” 

“She does. _Today_ has given us their word that this interview is going to be taped and not aired live,” Tom replied.

Brian glanced at me. “So then tell me this. Why are you booking my girlfriend for interviews?”

“Come on, Brian,” Tom said, “you were reaching for Carson.”

Brian shook his head. “Only because I’ve known him for twenty years.”

“Look, the offers are still all on the table. If you want to know what else is out there, you need to talk to Pat.”

Brian sighed. “Okay. I will. Thanks, Tom. And please send everything through me from now on. Bec does not need to be disturbed by your requests and emails.”

“Will do,” Tom said. 

They hung up and Brian looked at me. “Could you finish this? I need to call Pat.” I nodded and added the veggies from the bowl on the counter and started stirring. Brian leaned against the counter. He scrolled his phone again before putting it on speaker as it rang. A woman answered. “Hey, Pat, sorry to call so late.”

“Hi, Brian. It’s no problem. Tom told me you might be calling.”

Brian took a breath to steady himself. “Look, I know there were five offers on the table for exclusivity. Is there anything else coming down the line?”

I stirred the rice and vegetables as I listened. “I’m not sure right now,” Pat replied. “I know the usual suspects will probably come into play tomorrow or Wednesday. I know _GMA_ is gonna want an interview. They may want it there in studio. And _ET_ and _Access Hollywood_ will want something as well.”

“Look,” Brian stated, “I know we’re gonna be slammed, but I have to run interference for Bec. There’s no way she can do this alone.”

“She’s a BTS type, right?” Pat asked. I turned the heat off on the pan and pulled out a couple of plates from the cupboard. I smiled. Leave it to publicists to understand the lingo.

“Yeah,” Brian said. “Might snag her for our next shoot. But that’s the problem. She has work. I’m scheduled to be on the East Coast on Monday. If _GMA_ is still interested in a live take, could we do live and Skype?”

“I’ll work on that for you. And anything else that comes through, I’ll shoot you an email.”

Brian sighed. “Thanks, Pat. _ET_ and _Access Hollywood_ can be done at the end of the week if need be. But let me know. This isn’t easy.”

I could almost hear Pat smile on the other end. “It never is on those who aren’t in the limelight,” she said. “I’ll keep you informed. And I won’t schedule anything without confirming with you first.”

“Thanks, Pat,” Brian said.

I carefully plated our stir fry and then carried the plates to the table as Brian hung up from his call. We sat down and Brian prayed over our meal. Suddenly I wasn’t hungry and moved my food around on my plate, hoping Brian wouldn’t notice. He did, of course. “What’s the matter?” he asked. I shook my head slowly. “Don’t tell me nothing,” he replied, smiling. “What’s bugging you?”

I tipped my head and ran my hand over the back of my neck. “So what’s going on this week?” I asked, trying not to be upset.

Brian sighed. “You know how exclusivity works, right?”

I nodded. “Yeah. Deal with it for product placement. And new shows or popular shows. It’s a new world in television.”

Brian smiled. “I figured. So, since you picked who you wanted to give the exclusive to, everyone else on that list gets first dibs. There will be more coming once the story breaks tomorrow. But you heard what I told Pat.” I nodded. “So we’ll do the two news shows later this week, probably Thursday. I’ll likely hear from _GMA_ on Friday about setting up a live shot here in town.”

“How would that work?” I asked, pushing my food around again, avoiding his gaze. “You leave Sunday morning.”

He reached across the table and laid a hand on mine. “They’d have you Skype in or live shot you in. We’d do it on Monday morning. You’d have to be up super early.”

My heart sank into my stomach. “But… But… You wouldn’t be here.”

“I know,” he whispered. “But it would be no different than when we Skype while I’m on the road.” 

I dropped my fork and sat there staring at the center of the table. I slid my chair back and speed-walked to the bedroom, closing the door behind me. I crawled up under the covers of our bed and buried my face in my pillow, not sure what to do at that moment. I knew Brian would leave me alone for a while. So I lay there with the covers pulled up over my head, crying, not sure why but knowing it had to do with the fear I was feeling and the twisting of my stomach at that moment.

Sometime later I heard the door open. Brian climbed up on the bed beside me and looked at me. “What’s going through that head of yours?” he asked softly.

I smiled weakly, wiping the tears away. “I can’t do this,” I whispered.

He placed a hand on my head and leaned over, kissing my forehead. “Yes, you can,” he told me. “Train’s already leaving the station and you’re on it. You totally can do this.”

I sniffed. “But it’s not how I want to do it.”

He smiled and stroked my hair. “Then spin it. So what if management forced our hand in this one. Now we run with it. You run with it.”

“How?”

Brian sat up and I did as well. He pulled out his phone and unlocked it. “Maybe it’s time to start that Instagram account,” he said, turning his phone towards me. It was a picture of me hiding under the covers. "You have something to say. So say it. Use this attention that is coming your way to your advantage."

"But I don't want them to hurt you."

He smiled at me. "They won't." He raised an eyebrow at me. "So, Instagram?"

I sighed. "Okay, but not that picture."

He grinned. "Of course not."

I got up and grabbed my phone off the counter in the kitchen and returned, climbing up on the bed. As I went through the motions of setting up the account, Brian leaned over my shoulder. "Advice?" I asked.

"Be intentional. Every photo. Every video. Every hashtag. You don't need to say a lot in the captions, but be mindful. Dress your photos like you would your sets but if you're gonna be real, be real. Not everything needs to be perfect." I nodded. "And come here." He pulled me in and I leaned my head his shoulder. He snapped a selfie of us. "Are you up?" I nodded. A moment later I got a ping on my phone. It was the selfie Brian took of us. He, of course, looked amazing, albeit a little worn down. Me, well, puffy eyes from crying and my hair hanging down in my face was about as real as people were gonna get. “Post it and tag that you’re my girlfriend. I’m gonna do the same thing. You’ll have a bazillion followers by the end of the week. Oh, and follow me.”

I shook my head. “Yeah, I’m not gonna follow my own boyfriend who takes pictures of me.”

He leaned over and kissed my head. “Glad to hear the sarcasm back.”

I worked on what he suggested and played with the filters a bit, deciding that one of the black and whites were better for the way I looked currently. I then posted my first Instagram photo saying that I was Brian’s girlfriend and this was what really happens after a long day, curled up talking.

I followed Brian and saw that he had also posted that picture saying that he had finally managed to convince me to get an Instagram. He also said that this was what it was really like at home. We sat there playing Instagram tag, commenting and liking each other’s comments for a bit. I went back and liked any photo I was in with him. I knew going forward, he was going to help me with this whole social media thing because I didn’t usually deal with things like that being behind the scenes.

“I saved dinner for you. In case you’re hungry later,” he told me, kissing my head.

“Thanks, Babe,” I said forcing a smile on my face. I wasn’t sure if I would eat later that night, but I knew sleep was going to be broken, if at all.


End file.
